11 Things I Would Buy on Ebay, If I Could

(With thanks also to Sheila, Chris and Devin for their contributions)

1. A thicker skin
2. Just a pound of joie de vivre
   
3. An early bird (so I don't have to worry about getting up to get the worm myself)
4. The next best thing since sliced bread
5. The bees knees
   
6. A mountain-to-molehill maker
7. A spare paddle (for when you're up the creek without one)
8. A sprinkler that makes the grass just as green on your side as on the other side
   
9. A grain of salt
   
10. Tracks (so as not to lose ones train of thought)
11. A moss-gathering rolling stone (very rare and worth a lot of money, I'm sure)
12. A cake that you can have an eat as well